Morgana's Christmas Carol
by Groulien
Summary: Morgana's Christmas was bound to be a lonely one. When she did receive a visitor, however, she did not treat him kindly. In the spirit of Christmas and all that is good, the three Ghosts of Christmas offer her one last chance to renounce her wicked ways. Season 4, after The Secret Sharer, some Mergana.
1. Chapter 1

Twas the day before christmas. All the roofs in Camelot were covered with snow. If anyone had taken a moment to sit back and look at the beauty of it all, maybe the world would have been a more peaceful place.

_Wishful thinking, Merlin._ The warlock thought to himself. It was a joyful time of year but Arthur had commanded Merin to help out with the preparations. Busy, busy, busy, no rest for the wicked. Additional banners were hung on either side of the throne room, Christmas trees on the courtyard, the village square, the throne room and even in the King's private chambers. Of course these trees were not brought to Camelot. No, the servants had to get them from the forest. Four trees and it was quite possible that Arthur was being modest since, in Uther's day, there used to be one in every guest chamber as well.

They went out to the forest, most of the servants along with some willing Knights. The thought that Morgana, or anyone else for that matter, would strike them was unthinkable. It wasn't the time of year. The witch would have more pressing concerns such as food and decent shelter. Initially, Merlin didn't want to partake in cutting down the trees and bringing them back to Camelot. Then Agravaine volunteered to help and so did Merlin. Arthur's blind trust in his uncle was misplaces, such had become painfully clear to the elderly court physician and his manservant.

Merlin kept a wary eye on the traitor and, as they pulled down the last tree, saw Agravaine slip away into the shadow of the forest. The warlock put his hand on Gwaine's shoulder.  
"I still need to pick some herbs for Gaius, I'll meet you back at the tavern."  
"Alright, don't let those ears freeze off." Merlin smirked at the remark and followed the trail left in the snow.  
Time had always been a issue whenever something devious was going on. Simply disappearing was an idea worth considering but might cause Arthur to send out the Knights prematurely and prevent him from getting the information he needed.

The harbinger of disaster had tried to cover his tracks but the warlock already knew where Agravaine was going.  
In the vicinity of Morgana's shack, Agravaine no longer made much of an effort to cover his tracks. Merlin moved closer to the hovel and listened to their conversation.

Agravaine's affections for the witch had been known to her for some time but she did not return them. The most disgusting part of it all was that he was Uther's brother-in-law. This time the man had come to her home bearing gifts.  
"I don't suppose that bag contains the head of my beloved brother."  
"No, milady. Just a few things to help you get through." Agravaine said as he began emptying the bag.  
Wine, bread and venison. To call it charity in the spirit of Christmas would have been wishful thinking. It was still Agravaine that gave it to her and he still wished to bed her should the opportunity arise.  
"Will that be all?" She asked curtly.  
Agravaine moved a bit uneasy but replied nonetheless. "I thought you might enjoy having some company, it is Christmas after all."  
_Company_, that was probably why he had brought wine in the first place.  
"No, your presence here is pointless. All I want for Christmas is Arthur's head at my feet, that I would enjoy." She may as well have told him to go plough himself.  
Agravaine nodded slightly. She had rejected him so many times before and far more cruel than she had done just now. Still, her spy in Camelot remained loyal to her and left her hovel.

Merlin was surprised that there was no plot to overthrow Camelot. Not one word. Maybe the game was growing old for her and she was running out of ideas.  
_VERY wishful thinking, Merlin. She's probably just biding her time, waiting for an opportunity, for me to get careless._

A sudden force pushed him against the wall of her hovel and despite the icy breath of winter down his back, he felt the cold steel of a dagger on his neck.  
_Like now._ He reprimanded himself.  
The icy voice in his ear was colder than the water beneath the ice but a glimmer of joy was still there, and it said "Merry Christmas."

**AN:**

Couldn't resist posting this chapter early. Starting Christmas, the spirits will come and haunt or beloved witch. Following chapters will be much longer and I'll be adding two of them on both Christmas days, so be sure to +follow the story.


	2. Chapter 2

**AN:**

For those of you who are stuck on the road with nothing to do, I'll be updating the story twice on both Christmas days (4x total).

* * *

Captured yet again. A moment of unawareness and she found him. No fancy magic was need to capture him but his own stupidity. When Agravaine had left, he didn't realize she was going to leave as well. Despite the supplies Camelot's traitor had brought her, there was far more satisfaction to be had in feeding on your own kills. Imagine her surprise when she found another set of prints in the snow and they led to one side of her hovel. She didn't follow them but moved around the hovel and caught him by surprise. He must have followed Agravaine unnoticed and shouldn't have been so foolish as to linger.

Now he was in chains once more but at least he wasn't hurt. She sat on her bed across the room and merely looked at him. The _boy_ was another resource to be included in whatever plot she could think of. Killing him did come to mind but that seemed excessive, perhaps he could be put to use somehow. Since making him an assassin was a failed plan, bait would be a better one. Arthur was fond of his manservant after all.

She sighed. Whatever plot she would come up with, it wouldn't happen until after Christmas. That meant there was another mouth to feed in an already harsh winter. What on earth was she supposed to do to pass the time with? Torture could keep her occupied but there wasn't much point to it. He couldn't tell her much that she had not already heard from Agravaine. Not much but still something.

She rose from the bed and held her head high as she walked towards him. No matter how great his disadvantage, whether he was in chains or had a dagger at his throat, he always had this fire in his eyes. Bravery was so easily confused with stupidity and to her this was the perfect example of it.  
"Why did Alator betray me?" She asked.  
Not once had the man shown any desire to fight her and at first he even seemed eager to break another man. His betrayal was a blow but leaving the enchanted bracelet behind said that he no longer wished to be associated with her. How did the man go from one extreme to another?  
"How should I know?" He acted all innocent and confused. She didn't know whether he was telling the truth or not. Then again, what would a mere servant know about the affairs of magic?  
"What happened while I was out?" She demanded to know. Despite knocking her unconscious, Alator's betrayal did not seem to extend to her death.  
"He said he made a mistake and left." She could tell Merlin wasn't telling the whole truth since he was talking about the sorcerer and not himself.  
Merlin was trying to hide the fact that he left with Alator, that would imply there was some sort of friendship or trust, and Morgana didn't pick up on that but something else instead.  
"So you were alone with me." Morgana realised.  
The manservant hadn't thought the lie through and was left with making up another one.  
"I left." He rushed to give her an answer and it was as bland as the last one.  
Rather than seeing two separate lies (Alator did not leave by himself and he did not stay behind), Morgana saw it as one and that she was closing in on the truth.  
"I was unconscious and my dagger was not three feet from you." She desperately wanted to know what was going on. He had every opportunity to kill her but he didn't. In the tale he told her, Alator left him alone with her and the dagger she had held at his throat. No one would have stopped him.  
"I..." A lie did not come to mind.

Morgana moved away with a smirk. She saw the unlikely truth beneath the lies. He couldn't do it. For some foolish reason, he couldn't do it. All this time she thought it was her that had a hard time dealing with them being on opposite sides. She had gotten over the pain of his betrayel but he didn't. He couldn't bear what he had done to her and couldn't do it a second time. It changed nothing in her heart, she still wanted vengeance.  
_How weak you really are._ She thought.

Going to bed she could still see him squirm. He knew that she'd figured it out and it worried him like she hoped it would.

Banging on the door woke her. No one she knew would do that. Knights would barge in much like Agravaine did. The damn thing didn't even have a lock. Getting up from under the covers, it seemed the noise didn't even faze the manservant.  
"Who is it?" She asked annoyed.  
"Morgana?" A man replied and her eyes grew wide.  
It was completely and utterly impossible, he was dead. Although she barely knew him, she felt an obligation to open the door.  
"Aglain?" He was the leader of a group of druids, the ones she came to when she first realised she had magic.  
He told her how magic could be a force for good, just like she thought it was. But he shouldn't be alive, Arthur and the Knights and killed him.  
"May I come in?" Having a dead man standing in front of her short-circuited her brain.  
She let him enter giving only thought to being courteous and forgetting the man in chains inside. To make matters worse, first thing he did was examine Merlin hanging from the ceiling.  
"He tried to kill me." She immediately sought to defend her actions.  
"Do you remember what I told you?" He asked almost as if discarding the boy in chains.  
"That magic can be a force for good and I've been doing exactly that. When the throne-" She really did seem to think she was doing the right thing.  
"Morgana." He interjected, not in anger but pity. "The throne is nothing but a dark ambition."  
"Arthur is a tyrant, no different from Uther. I can set us free, can't you see that?" The witch was convinced that she was doing it for the sake of all those with magic.  
"Yes, Uther was indeed a tyrant. He put you in chains for defying him." Aglain's words put a slight smile on her face but then turned to Merlin and continued. "See anything familiar?"  
Uther had put her in chains and now she had done the same to Merlin. It was wrong, she knew that, but remorse wasn't the emotion she felt for it. Aglain compared her to Uther made her blood boil.  
"All I want is what is rightfully mine." She spoke through clenched teeth.  
Who was Aglain to question her like that? He knew nothing of the hardships she had gone through. Yes, he knew pain of banishment for the crime of existing but he knew not the betrayal she had to endure. He was weak. No doubt she could tear him apart with single spell.  
The druid sighed and continued. "Tonight, three ghosts will visit you, Morgana. And they will show you the errors of your ways."  
And in the blink of an eye, he was gone.


	3. Chapter 3

**AN:**

Merry Christmas everyone! Here's the first of my two updates for today. I'll be updating again, some six or seven hours from now.  
Same goes for tomorrow So safe travels and I hope you don't get bored!

Right, so, when accompanied by a spirit, the 'dark' Morgana we know is written in _italic_ font.

* * *

Aglain's appearance and disappearance had left Morgana more than a bit shaken. Three spirits, he had said. What on earth had she been drinking?  
She was no farther from the door than she was when the impossible druid was there, which meant it wasn't a dream. She tried to shake off the feeling of dead and believe that it had all been part of her imagination.

There were more pressing concerns such as the manservant in chains. She laid a hand on his cheek and let one of her nails roughly scratch the surface.  
She wanted to scratch his eyes out so he would see the darkness she had been living in for so long.  
Why not put him in chains? From her point of view, he had done more wrong than good. Right from the start, saving Arthur was a mistake. He should've let him die and Uther would have had no choice but to publicly announce that she was his daughter and heir to the throne. Time and again he risked his life for him but only once for her. She trusted him and he didn't trust her back. Once had she shown him the truth behind the mask and he betrayed her as if it meant nothing, as if Gwen or Arthur were as close to her heart as he was.

He was special to her and she couldn't keep inside the single tear ran down her cheek. She hated him for what he had done to her.

The sound of a snapping twig pulled her attention away from Merlin. A quick peek through the window revealed a shady figure collecting firewood.  
The witch did not trust anyone who would dare tread so close to her hovel, her refuge from madness. She was outside in an instant and did not care about the snow ruining the rag she called a dress.  
"Who are you!" She demanded to know and for the second time, her heart jumped.  
In the streets of Camelot, he was nobody but your average commoner. This was the spirit of a man long gone. He had passed on to the next world or so she thought.  
Nevertheless, she called the dark skinned man by his name "Tom?"  
"Hello again, Morgana." He didn't sound as upbeat as he used to be but slightly distracted like when she and Gwen passed him by while he worked the forge.  
His demeanour could hardly be a surprise considering he was dead.  
"You're dead." Morgana frowned and backed away.  
"I am the Ghost of Christmas Past." He explained calmly and she was everything but calm.  
"Don't you dare come even near me!" She was trying to bluff her way out of it.  
He was a ghost and she hadn't the faintest clue how to deal with such a creature. She turned around and sought refuge in her hovel from the nightmare but it only got worse.

She rushed through the door and found herself in the castle of Camelot.

_She looked behind her and saw that Tom standing by the door._  
_"Why did you bring me here?" She demanded to know.  
_An ear-piecing scream alerted _her _of a presence but _she_ did not expect to see herself.  
They were in the chambers of the Lady of Camelot and _Morgana_ saw herself sitting, crying and gasping for air from the strain of the nightmare that had passed.  
_"They can't see us." Said Tom as _Gwen walked over to her mistress.  
"You're safe, nothing can harm you now." Gwen tried to comfort the distressed Lady of Camelot.  
"It was awful." _Morgana_ averted her gaze in disgust as her other self wept.

_Time sped up, a magical marvel in Morgana's opinion and possibly the only thing on the journey worthy of appreciation. Then time slowed down once more and just in time for the sun to shine through the window and shed light on her bed._

Morgana was looking at her dresses and wondered if she should procure another such fine a thing. T_he witch could not help but silently admit to herself she missed that._  
Gwen entered the room being incredibly cheery and carrying flowers.  
"Someone's brought you flowers." She sang as she moved over to the Lady of Camelot.  
"Was it Merlin again?" Morgana asked softly as she took the bouquet from her hands and smelled it. _The witch's stomach twisted and turned._  
"Need you even ask?" Gwen said and if it wasn't for the flowers, the maidservant would've seen her mistress blush furiously.  
_"What's the point of this?" Morgana asked coldly._

Arthur blundered into the room in his rude and regular fashion of not knocking.  
"Gwen, did you see Merlin?" He asked.  
"He was here a few minutes ago."  
Arthur frown and was about to leave when he noticed something and reopened the door.  
"Did _he _give you those?" The Prince nodded towards the flowers.  
Morgana scoffed at the remark. "They're from an admirer. If you wonder what it's like, grow up and stop abusing the servants."  
"I already have one." He cooed with a very short glimpse towards  
_Morgana's eyes turned towards the heavens and moaned "Kill me now."_  
"Just the one?" She teased.  
The Prince rolled his eyes and left.

_Morgana frowned at Tom.  
"What do you see when you look at her?" He asked.  
When Morgana refused to answer, he continued. "I see a young woman with a heart filled with hopes and dreams. She had friends like family. She stood up for the less fortunate, anyone who couldn't defend themselves. Despite the setbacks she was a strong woman to remain so hopeful."  
Of course that wasn't what Morgana saw "No, she was a naive girl. Uther would never change, never did. If she were strong, she would've killed Uther."  
Tom half-closed his eyes and continued "You tried avenging me but backed out at the last moment because you cared for him and didn't want Arthur to live without a father."  
"Like I said, she was weak." Morgana bit back.  
"You were strong." Tom dared to defy her. "It is easy to hate the world but it takes strength to forgive."  
Morgana turned her head away and refused to answer any more questions, it was pointless.  
"Come." He said as he opened the door. "I have one last thing to show you."  
The door that should have led to the corridor revealed stairs instead. With great hesitation Morgana walked down the steps._

They were in the burial vaults where Merlin beseeched her to stop the undead assault on Camelot._  
_"We can find another way." He pleaded.  
The story played out much like she had remembered until the point where she was knocked unconscious by debris.  
_She didn't see Merlin's eyes glow gold and neither did she hear the spell. She watched him as _he destroyed the staff with his sword.  
He moved towards her, sword in hand, _and Morgana feared for her life.  
_She was lying there unconscious, something to be associated with the meddlesome manservant.  
_Morgana came to her senses that this was the past and she was still alive, he hadn't harmed her. She remained silent to watch the past unfold before her eyes._

He kneeled besides her and laid a hand on her cheek. Merlin ran his thumb across her cheekbones. _Morgana involuntarily put her hand on her cheek as if she could feel his touch._ There were tears in his eyes.  
"Is there no other way?" His voice croaked. _He should have known that her heart wouldn't change a second time. He should have killed her then. The ordeal with Alator wasn't the first opportunity he had to kill her. There had been others but he apparently he never could bring himself to kill her._  
"It's all my fault." He was crying even though she was neither dead nor dying. "I should have told you. Things would have been different if I told you."  
_If he told her what? Oddly enough she found herself hoping desperately. The witch tried to supress the feelings that rose in her chest but it was already in her heart. Doubt seeped through the cracks in the ice._

_But it was the past, she couldn't change it. Whatever secret he kept then would no longer matter. They were enemies now, plain and simple._

_In the blink of an eye_ she was home again.

**AN:**

Out of all the deceased, I think Tom best embodies the time Morgana was still good.  
Confronting Morgana with Gorlois and/or Vivienne would be too extreme, they might actually hold too much sway over her.  
Uther and Morgause were possibilities but they hold too much personal interest. Uther would only look at his son and Morgause would never want Morgana to give up.  
Therefor I chose Tom, the father of her best friend before her first attempt on Uther's life.


	4. Chapter 4

Morgana was back in the present with Merlin still hanging from the ceiling.

She remembered his whispers, the words "_I should have told you_" and told herself that they no longer mattered now that they were enemies.

But the words didn't let go. What was his secret? Was it a feeling? An emotion? An event? There was a tiny speck of hope in her heart that it was stronger than his hatred towards her. Would it have survived the passing of time?  
Again she looked at the manservant in wonder. How many opportunities to kill her had passed him by? He poisoned her, and that hurt, but ever since then he seemed incapable of harming her. She would find out his secret now that she knew the question. But even if he proved her right, would it be enough to end their pain and bring it down upon others? He was viciously loyal to Arthur and it would a challenge to compete with their bond.

A clear mind, she needed a clear mind and left her hovel for a moment of rest.

The past had been chaotic at best. There was a conflict in her heart but she reasoned that it all boiled down to '_ignorance is bliss_'. Still, there was a grain of truth in it that not even she could deny. Tom, the Ghost of Christmas past, spoke of forgiveness towards others and she could see some wisdom in it. If Merlin were at her side when she conquered Camelot, she might be able to forgive him.

If his heart was hers then the promise of forgiveness and more would be all the persuasion needed.

Her mind set, she went back to her hovel only to find her prisoner in the company of someone else and a woman no less. The first thing Morgana saw of her was her long, black hair and the long dark-green cloak she wore. The attire befitted a druid, not someone the witch would strike without thought.  
"You've got some nerve." Morgana voiced her obvious displeasure.  
The woman turned around without fear or fright. This was odd since not even the druids thought themselves safe around her. To them she was known as the darker side of magic and not one to be trifled with.  
"Who are you?" Morgana asked curiously.  
"I am the Ghost of Christmas Present." Although initially neutral towards the girl, Morgana now found herself loathing this ghost of Christmas.  
"Don't suppose you have a name." The witch scoffed.  
"Freya." She replied softly but firmly.  
"Are you going to pester me with more visions?" Morgana couldn't help but try and antagonize the spirit.  
Freya, however, was not without wit either. "Is this a vision?" She said, pointing at Merlin.  
Morgana seemed to ignore the remark and opened up one of her spell books. Surely there would be something to get rid of these terribly annoying spirits.  
"All he ever does is protect." Freya vigorously defended the manservant's actions where the other ghosts did not.  
"And poison." Morgana added and smiled at Freya's frown.  
The ghost took a deep breath. She would not let herself be pulled down to the ravings of the mad witch. _Even the dead sigh. _Morgana thought much to her own amusement.  
"You were friends." Freya stated somewhat sadly and the witch began to suspect _that_ was her goal, to guilt her.  
Morgana did not plan on making it that easy. "That's what I thought." Morgana spat bitterly.  
Of course Morgana would play the woman scorned but she seemed to be forgetting something. Despite being the Ghost of Christmas past Freya still had the power to look into the past.  
"But you lied to him when you said you trusted him." The Ghost reminded her.  
"No, HE betrayed ME!" The witch shouted, clinging onto the ground upon which she had condemned him.  
This was what Freya had been waiting for, making her angry and actually wanting to cloud her judgment.  
"Then what would you call your meetings with Morgause and your plots to kill Uther?" Freya asked sweetly.  
"He didn't know about them." Morgana replied instantly but the thought lingered.  
He always foiled her plans. The undead army, Elyan's capture, her reign as Queen, the Fommoroh and Alator. He always knew when something was wrong or out of place. He saved Arthur from many dangers and some of those things seemed impossible to be known to him. Right from the start he exposed Knight Valiant's magic, Bayard's poisoned chalice, the Troll that was Lady Catrina, the Witchfinder scheme and so many more. All the things he had put a stop to and there had to be more she had no know of.  
What if he knew about Morgause's plot? "Did he?" Morgana asked unsure.

Freya closed the door and opened it again to reveal a room within Camelot.  
"I want to show you something." Freya said.  
Morgana hesitated. Earlier she told herself that she wouldn't listen to the ghost but now she found herself wanting to know what was on the other side. Tom had merely shown her the pain of what she had lost. This time was different. Freya had illuminated part of the path that led to Merlin's motives for poisoning her. It wasn't an extended memory like what Tom had given her but truth. Morgana wanted to know the truth and stepped through the doorway.

Immediately _Morgana _regretted entering the room for it was 'King' Arthur's bedroom. The man in question sat at his desk doing nothing but absent-mindedly drinking a glass of wine.  
_Morgana did not ask Freya what was going on. She knew they were waiting for something to happen and it did._  
Gwen came through the door and stood before Arthur's desk.  
"What are you thinking about?" She asked him.  
"Morgana." He said softly. It was a worry of his that never changed, never faded, always there in the shadows waiting for an opportunity.  
Gwen sat down on the King's bed and Arthur followed her, leaving the cup on his desk.  
"Christmas was one of the few times we actually got along." Arthur said with a light chuckle, a story on his mind.  
He turned towards Gwen and began to tell. "A few years back, maybe you remember it, she got into this huge argument with father. We were dining at the time and I thought they would go on forever. Whenever that happened, I would kick her under the table, only that time I hit father."  
"Didn't he send you to your room?" Gwen did recall something like that happening though all those years ago she didn't pay that much attention to Arthur's actions.  
"Morgana as well, for laughing at it. Eventually she came to my room with a bottle of wine to make it up to me."  
"Where did she get it from? I thought all the wine was drunk before supper was even done." Gwen recalled as such happened nearly every Christmas.  
"I think she had an open bottle in her chambers somewhere and filled it up with water. I pretended not to notice."  
_Morgana remembered the day he spoke of and she did indeed add water to the wine. He didn't drink much but she though he hadn't noticed. It was a bit silly but fun nonetheless.  
- Why am I smiling? - Morgana reprimanded herself._  
Arthur smile turned upside down. "I don't understand how Morgause got such a hold over her."  
Gwen sighed as she hated to dread on the past. "She lived in fear the moment she realised she had magic."  
"Morgause exploited it. Exploited her fears as she did my grief." Arthur could relate.  
Morgause almost caused him to kill his own father but that plot had failed. Had Morgana been the back-up plan all along? But there was another idea that occured to him.  
"What if that is why there are sorcerers at the wall?" He reasoned but Gwen didn't quite follow.  
"Ehm, 'that'?" She asked for clarification.  
"All this time I thought the sorcerers attacking us proved that magic was evil but I never saw why." Arthur's revelation unfolded as he continued. "They didn't hate my father because he was King. They feared what he would do to them and their families if he found out they had magic."  
_"Now do you see why I do what I do?" Morgana silently begged that he had finally seen the light. It was odd for her to bear hope for her half-brother like that. If he had come to his senses, things could change._  
"What are you thinking?" Gwen asked the very same question that was on _Morgana's_ mind.  
"I could've set her free. But I can't." Arthur voice was sad but no tears would flow, not for his enemy. "Not anymore, not after what she's done."  
_"Likewise." Morgana was fuming with anger._

The room turned dark and Morgana found herself in darkness with only Freya in sight.  
"What's going on?" Morgana asked.  
This had not happened with the other ghost, he just led her through the door and back to her hovel.  
"I'm sorry for what you're about to see." Freya said as she too faded into darkness.

Despite the clear darkness, a cold wind from behind sought her attention.

There stood the hooded woman in a ragged black robe with a face as pale as death itself.

They had met before and Morgana knew her as the Cailleach.


	5. Chapter 5

"Morgana Pendragon." The Cailleach greeted her in the enveloping darkness. "Are you ready to see the future?"  
Before she even had the chance to reply, the darkness faded and _Morgana found herself in Gaius' chambers._

Merlin stood at the workbench and was flipping through a book like a physician's apprentice should. _Morgana saw he had a patient and was only slightly shocked to see it was her future self. Morgana wanted to check for her own pulse only to find her hand flying straight through it, the downside of being a ghost._

_Morgana looked at Merlin. He wasn't the young, happy boy he once was. Time had passed since then. How long had it been? How many years? Morgana estimated half a decade, maybe even more._

The door opened and Queen Guinevere entered the room. _There wasn't a doubt in Morgana's mind that she had married Arthur._  
"Is she awake yet?" Gwen harshly demanded to know.  
_It took Morgana by surprise. She wasn't used to hearing her former maid speak so violently._  
"I'm working on it." Merlin replied annoyed as he kept flipping through the pages.  
Gwen idly walked through the room. She looked at a few books on the shelves but take any of them. Finally, the Queen stopped moving at Morgana's body.  
"Don't." Merlin looked at her from the corner of his eye.  
"Sorry?" Gwen asked innocently _but Morgana didn't believe her_ and neither did Merlin.  
Arthur's former manservant stood in front of Gwen and on the other side of his patient with his hand held out.  
"Left hand, give." He spoke with an unrelenting stare.  
She bit on the inside of her cheek as she handed him the vial that was in her left hand.  
_Morgana was in shock. __**Gwen**__ had planned to poison her? What was possibly even stranger was that Merlin prevented her from doing so._  
"Why do you even bother?" Gwen asked cruelly. "She'll be sentenced to death anyway."  
"Arthur would've wanted her to stand trial nonetheless." Merlin answered.  
"Arthur isn't here anymore, Merlin!" The Queen was shouting at this point.  
_Arthur was dead? It was more the result than the fact that shook her. No matter what happened, Gwen and Merlin had always been friends._  
"See it as an act of mercy." Gwen tried to persuade him. "That way she won't have to face execution."  
_When had Gwen become such a cunning woman?_  
"Leave, milady. My patient needs rest." Merlin didn't want things to get out of hand.  
Gwen held her head high as she walked over to the door with Merlin right behind her to make sure she didn't make a mess of things. With the door open and the knob in her hand, Gwen gave into the urge to have the last word.  
"You're lucky I don't blame magic for his death." She said and that would have been the end of it if she hadn't antagonized Merlin so much.  
Without thinking, the servant replied "No, then it would be like he married his father." and closed the door to force her out of the room.

_Morgana was stunned. The look on Gwen's face was fantastic but it was horrifying to see the devastation Arthur's death left behind. Merlin and Gwen, she thought they would be friends until the bitter end but no, they had been torn apart by those who died and those who remained. Not only had their friendship withered, they were arguing and openly hostile._

_"I have one last thing left to show you." The Cailleach spoke as their surroundings plummeted into darkness once more.  
Then the landscape seemed to form beneath their feet as the sun rose to illuminate their new surroundings._

_They were in a forest and Morgana recognized Merlin's lanky, sulking, sitting figure straight away._

_She could see that _he had been crying and then looked at what he was looking at. Stirred ground at first sight but it had the measurements of a grave.

"I can only guess you would've wanted to be buried like your father. Besides your father rather than here, I can imagine." Merlin mused.  
_Morgana felt a load of guilt wash over her. He was right, she would have wanted to be buried next to her father, and it went without saying that 'father' referred to Gorlois rather than Uther. She could scarcely believe he would bury her and not dump her in a ditch. It was what he said next that was even more unbelievable._  
"_Queen Gwen_" He spat "wanted to burn you. Now she's keeping an eye on your father's grave, hoping I'd give you an unmarked grave."  
_In that respect, Gwen had gotten what she wanted._  
"Do you remember this place? It's where you first met the druids." He carried on his monologue.  
_She did remember. He brought her there to find answers about her magic, how it could be used for the good of things. It's where she met Aglain and found Mordred once more. It had ended so abruptly but it had brought her so much hope. If he hadn't shown her the way, she would've gone mad. So he remembered as well. Would he visit her grave from time to time? She hoped he would._  
"Who would've imagined it would come to this? So many people are dead because of you... and me." He admitted without much trouble.  
_Morgana didn't know how much time had passed since she had been his patient. Perhaps he had come to terms with it._  
He took a deep breath and continued. "Arthur is dead, in case you didn't already know. Him _and _Mordred."  
_Mordred? Why? What had he done to deserve death? Oh gods, had she dragged him into it? He was but a boy, well, a young man considering the time that had gone by but still. Young life always ended far too soon._  
"Magic is free and I'm banished for stealing a dead body." He smiled wryly.  
_Magic was free? Gwen had said something about blaming magic and his cruel reply but she thought that Gwen was talking about another Great Purge. Magic was free and still she had waged war._  
"I hate you." Merlin was starting to cry again.  
"You should've lived but you gave up on life, didn't you?" He sobbed angrily.  
It wasn't a secret but it was a rarity. People would be sick or wounded and despite the healing magic, the person would die. Those were the people that had not just given up but actually lost the will to live, not wanting to remain in the world anymore. How much had they suffered for something like that to happen?  
"Why?!" He cried _and Morgana wanted to reply but she couldn't, the reasons laid in the future._  
_Out of all people, it was him that shed tears for her. The man that failed to poison her still got to bury her, reluctantly. It was her nemesis that cared most for her. He smuggled her body out of Camelot but he wanted her to live, he would've helped her escape if she had been alive. He wouldn't have let her stand trial if he couldn't even let her dead body burn. This was about more than that. He was banished from Camelot for wanting to bury her body and did it anyway. This was about so much more than their hate, more than their friendship, more than regret or pity. He did this for her, just for her. Arthur's death made him cold to the world but now it was as if there was nothing left of him. The words he had spoken in the burial vaults were sincere. His betrayal made her heart ache and Morgause helped numb the feeling. No one did that for him, his heart had never stopped aching. Not even now she was dead._

Darkness shrouded the world from them once more and Morgana found herself crying.

"I don't want this." Morgana said. This wasn't the world she wanted.  
She must have become obsessed to wage war while magic was free. Arthur lifted the ban, like a fair King and kind brother would, and still she caused his death. Gwen, cheerful, hopeful and forgiving Gwen had become so very bitter. The maid that used to help her sleep became the Queen that tried to poison her. Merlin, cheery, happy, goofy Merlin had become so cold and full of pain.  
"Then don't let it come to this." Spoke the Cailleach's voice.  
"What do you mean?" Morgana stopped her sobbing for a glimmer of hope.  
"This day is a crossroad.  
Stay on the path which you travel now and you may wear the crown one last time before you die but it won't bring magic back.  
Let go of the throne and you will find yourself a life surrounded by magic where your name will instil hope rather than fear."  
Morgana closed her eyes and took a deep breath. She made her decision and opened her eyes to reply.

She was home again, the Cailleach was gone. The answer had to be lived.

* * *

**AN:**

Next chapter is, of course, redemption.  
It will be happy rather than dreadful.


	6. Chapter 6

Merlin felt strangely warm when he woke up. He was lying in bed but it wasn't his own. The blanket that covered him smelled faintly familiar and opening his eyes, he saw Morgana. She sat at the table drinking tea. Her eyes were red from crying and now they were staring holes into the ground while she absent-mindedly stirred her tea with her spoon. Gold passed her eyes and smoke rose from the cup. All she had done was warm it up again.

Beneath the sheets he felt his wrists. Last time those chains had given him some serious bruises only this time there was no trauma at all. He brought his feet to the ground and she looked at him for a moment.  
"Sleep well?" She asked as her eyes moved back to the mug before her.  
He noticed the lack of venom in her voice as if she was actually trying to make decent conversation.  
"There are worse ways to wake up." He replied.  
It was strange for him to see her behave so... normal? Why wasn't he in chains anymore? He found it difficult to imagine she would have a sudden change of heart. What if he tried to leave, would she stop him?  
"You can leave whenever you like." She spoke as if reading his mind.  
Why wasn't she taunting him? They were enemies and she was indifferent. It was almost as if she had given up. Why was that? After all the sweat and pain, why would she give in? It wasn't like her at all.  
"Why?" His question made her smile so very sadly.  
"Christmas, I suppose."  
How sad could she get? If she really wanted him to leave then she would have kicked him out. This wasn't even being cold. This was sad, indifferent and depressing.  
He got up from the bed and opened the door to leave. Then he looked back and still it was like she didn't care. He knew it shouldn't but it broke his heart. She was never indifferent, she was stubborn, devoted to a cause and fought for what she believed in. He felt more for her than pity. It broke his heart to see her broken.

He closed the door and sat opposite of her.  
"What are you doing?" She asked confused.  
He showed a rare, genuine smile "No one should be alone for Christmas."

**The End**

* * *

**AN:**  
It's too short, I know, there's a reason for it.  
First and foremost, I don't want to force an ending. I'd rather let your imagination fill in the blanks rather than write a crappy ending.  
Secondly, the world can't be fixed in one day. I mean, Scrooge wasn't a wanted man who tried to take the throne by magic and murder.  
Thirdly, I might follow up on this (months from now, I expect) but it ends for now.  
Morgana's redemption won't take place during Christmas (that's what this was, a Christmas story).


End file.
